Ali Heywood is an RVN with over 25 years’ experience in education leadership, and quality assurance. She is passionate about shaping the future of veterinary nursing through quality education, compassionate leadership, and ensuring that the women in our profession can enjoy long, fulfilling, and sustainable careers.
Ali will be writing a series of blogs throughout 2026 linking to the BVNA Presidential theme of compassion and empathy. Check out Ali’s previous blogs here for the series so far.
Creating a culture of growth, not judgement
I was once in a job where I quietly congratulated myself for successfully dodging my appraisal for nearly two years.
That probably sounds ridiculous for somebody who now spends a large part of their professional life supporting learners, coaching teams, and talking about reflective practice, but at the time, the appraisal process felt so unpleasant that avoidance genuinely felt preferable.
The feedback was never really feedback. It was a year’s worth of frustrations and criticisms rolled into one formal meeting and delivered in one sitting, usually after months of silence. I remember joking:
“Can’t you just tell me why I’m rubbish as we go along rather than saving it all up for one session once a year?”
It was meant humorously, but there was a lot of truth underneath it.
Because when feedback only appears as a collection of negatives stored up over time, it stops feeling developmental and starts feeling punitive. The meeting itself becomes something to dread rather than something that helps you grow, and eventually you find yourself spending more energy trying to avoid the conversation than learning from it.
I do not think I am alone in that experience.
In veterinary nursing, feedback matters deeply because the work matters deeply. Most people in this profession care enormously about doing a good job, which means feedback rarely lands neutrally. It lands somewhere much closer to self-worth.
When feedback is handled poorly, it can feel less like support and more like judgement. Yet when it is handled well, feedback can become one of the most valuable tools we have for confidence, professional growth, safer practice, and healthier teams.
The difference is rarely whether feedback is given. It is usually in the way it is delivered and the culture surrounding it.
More recent healthcare and workplace research continues to show that people learn more effectively in environments where they feel psychologically safe, respected, and able to make mistakes without humiliation.¹ Teams that communicate openly and compassionately tend to experience better wellbeing and stronger collaboration.² In professions such as veterinary nursing, where emotional load, perfectionism, and pressure are already high, this matters enormously.
What often happens in busy clinical environments is that feedback becomes associated almost entirely with problems. Nobody comments when things are quietly going well, but the moment something slips, a conversation suddenly appears. Over time, learners and team members can start to associate feedback itself with anxiety. Some become defensive before the discussion has even started. Others avoid asking questions because they fear looking incompetent. A few simply disengage altogether.
Ironically, no feedback at all can be just as damaging.
Many people spend months trying to interpret silence. They wonder whether they are doing well, whether they are underperforming, whether anyone notices their effort, or whether they are one mistake away from criticism. Human beings are remarkably good at filling gaps in information, and unfortunately, we often fill them with self-doubt.
Looking back now, I do not think the problem was feedback itself. The problem was the absence of regular, balanced, human conversations throughout the year. There was no sense of coaching or support. By the time the appraisal arrived, everything already felt emotionally loaded.
Poor feedback rarely motivates people in the way we think it will. More often, it creates fear, embarrassment, defensiveness, or exhaustion. Some people stop taking initiative because they become frightened of getting things wrong. Some lose confidence completely. Recent work in healthcare education suggests feedback is most effective when learners feel psychologically safe enough to engage with it rather than protect themselves from it. ³
That does not mean difficult conversations should be avoided. Veterinary teams still need accountability, standards, and honest discussions when things go wrong. Kindness is not the same thing as avoiding honesty. In fact, some of the kindest feedback I have ever received has also been the clearest.
The difference was that I still felt respected afterwards.
Good feedback focuses on behaviour rather than identity. It leaves room for discussion and reflection. It feels proportionate. It recognises that somebody can be struggling, overwhelmed, inexperienced, or tired without being fundamentally incapable.
Small shifts in language can completely change how feedback lands.
There is a world of difference between:
“You’re disorganised.”
and:
“I noticed the equipment wasn’t ready before the consult. Let’s think about what might help next time.”
One attacks the person. The other explores the situation.
I also think we sometimes underestimate the importance of positive feedback in professional environments.
Human beings naturally hold onto negative experiences more strongly than positive ones. One critical comment can sit in somebody’s head for weeks whilst ten positive comments quietly disappear into the background.
Positive feedback helps to rebalance that.
Not in a false or patronising way, but in a genuine recognition of effort, progress, teamwork, judgement, kindness, or growth. Being told that you handled a difficult client well, stayed calm in a challenging situation, or supported a colleague kindly matters more than we sometimes realise.
It builds confidence and trust within teams. It also makes corrective feedback much easier to hear because the relationship already contains evidence that the person giving feedback sees more in you than your mistakes.
People often say they welcome constructive criticism, but if we are honest, very few people actively enjoy hearing that they have done something wrong. Even when feedback is delivered kindly, it can still feel uncomfortable. The difference is that in supportive environments, the discomfort feels manageable rather than crushing.
When positive feedback exists consistently throughout a workplace, constructive conversations stop feeling like character assassinations and start feeling like part of normal professional growth.
The best feedback I have received has challenged me, absolutely. It has made me reflect, rethink, and occasionally feel uncomfortable. But it has never made me feel humiliated.
Creating healthy feedback cultures requires effort from whole teams, not just individuals. Clinical supervisors, senior nurses, lecturers, vets, and leaders all shape whether feedback feels safe or threatening. If people only hear from us when something goes wrong, then feedback itself becomes associated with fear. If reflective conversations become normal, regular, and supportive, feedback starts to feel less like judgement and more like growth.
Compassion in professional settings is often misunderstood as being soft or lowering standards. I do not think that is true at all. Compassionate feedback still expects accountability. It simply delivers it in a way that allows people to learn rather than shrink.
Because ultimately, feedback should not leave people feeling smaller.
The best feedback leaves people feeling more capable than before the conversation started. It reminds them that development is possible, mistakes are survivable, and growth is expected.
And perhaps that is the real goal. Not creating perfect professionals but creating workplaces where people feel safe enough to keep learning.
References
- Frazier ML, Fainshmidt S, Klinger RL, Pezeshkan A, Vracheva V. Psychological safety: A meta‐analytic review and extension. Personnel Psychology. 2017;70(1):113-165
- Pestian T, Awtrey E, Kanov J, Winick N, et al. The impact of organizational compassion in health care on clinicians: A scoping review. Worldviews on Evidence-Based Nursing. 2023;20(4):310-319
- Watling CJ, Ajjawi R. Feedback and the educational alliance: examining credibility judgements and their consequences. Medical Education. 2024;58(1):14-24