Managing difficult conversations in the workplace can be challenging, but with the right approach, they can lead to growth, understanding, and stronger working relationships. Here are some practical strategies to help you navigate them effectively.

Prepare Ahead

  • Clarify your goals – Know what you want to say before the conversation. Be clear about the main message or outcome you are aiming for.
  • Gather Facts – Be ready with specific examples, data or situations to explain your point clearly.
  • Think Ahead/Anticipate reactions – Consider how the other person might react and plan how you will respond calmly.

Choose the right time and place

  • Find a private, neutral setting where both parties feel safe.
  • Avoid initiating the conversation when emotions are high or during stressful times.

Stay Calm and Respectful

  • Speak calmly and use friendly body language – Keep your voice steady and relaxed. Make eye contact and avoid crossing your arms or looking upset. Use a calm tone and positive body language.
  • Don’t blame or judge – Talk about how you feel or what you have noticed. Instead of accusing the other person for example, say (e.g., “I’ve notice,” or “I feel…” instead of “You always…”).

Listen Actively

  • Let the other person speak without interruption
  • Show you are listening by nodding, paraphrasing, or asking clarifying questions
  • Validate their feelings even if you disagree.

Examples of good listening skills:

EARS

E – Explore

  • Ask questions to understand the other points of view
  • Can you tell me more about what happened?”, “What do you think would have helped in that situation?”

A – Acknowledge

  • Show you’re listening and that you understand their feelings
  • Can you tell me more about what happened?”, “What do you think would have helped in that situation?”

R – Respond

  • Give thoughtful reply, not just a quick reaction.
  • Example “thanks for sharing that, Let’s look at how we can fix it

S – Solution

  • Work together to find a solution or next step.
  • Example: “What do you think would help us move forward?”

Focus on Solutions

  • Shift the conversations from problems to collaboratively problem solving
  • Ask open-ended questions like “What do you think would help?” or “How can we move forward?”

Examples of solution-based questions:

  • What do we both want from this discussion?
  • Is there anything we agree on?
  • What could we do differently next time?
  • How can we make sure it doesn’t happen again?
  • What one small step can we take today?

Follow up

  • Summarise key points and agreed actions to take forward
  • Check in later to ensure progress and maintain accountability

If informal discussion does not improve the situation, then you may wish to consider mediation where an independent 3rd party will preside over the meeting.

What are the benefits? The benefits of mediation reduces stress and tension, helps rebuild working relationships, avoids formal grievances or tribunal process and encourages open, honest meaningful communication.

However, if you choose mediation the following must be adhered to:

  • It is a voluntary agreement. Mediation only takes place if everyone agrees to take part.
  • No one is forced into it, and you can stop at any time.
  • A trained/impartial person (the mediator) leads the process
  • They do not take sides or make decisions; they help guide the conversation.
  • Everything discussed in mediation is private & confidential. It will not be shared with others or used in formal procedures later.
  • One to one meetings first with each person to understand their views and concerns.
  • If then everyone agrees, a joint meeting will be held (in person or online).
  • Each person gets a chance to speak without interruption
  • The mediator helps guide the discussion and keeps it respectful
  • The focus on finding a way forward not deciding who is right or wrong. The mediator helps both sides come up with ideas and agree on next steps.
  • If an agreement is reached, it is notarised. It is not legally binding, but it shows what was agreed and how things will improve.

No resolution reached

If informal discussions and mediation do not lead to a resolution, you may wish to consider initiating a formal grievance in line with your organisation’s procedures.

Grievance

A grievance is a formal complaint raised by an employee regarding workplace issues, such as unfair treatment, discrimination, harassment, or violations of workplace policies. The grievance process typically involves:

  • Filing a written complaint.
  • Investigation of the grievance by management or a designated committee.
  • Resolution through meetings, mediation, or other means.
  • Possible escalation to higher authorities or external bodies if not resolved satisfactorily.

A grievance or complaint should ideally be dealt with informally in the first instance. Sometimes just the opportunity to talk through an issue and find a way forward is enough.

Where the grievance is of a more serious nature or if you wish to make it a formal process and has submitted their complaint in writing, the formal procedure will take place as prescribed in the Grievance Procedure detailed in the Employee Handbook. You will be invited to a formal grievance hearing meeting with the right to be accompanied by either a colleague or a Union Representative. The difference with this procedure is that the onus is on you to provide the evidence to back up your claims. The Practice may then need to investigate the issues before being able to decide on whether to uphold your grievance.

Following your grievance, you should be provided with an outcome in writing detailing whether your grievance points have been upheld or not. You have the right to appeal your grievance outcome if you are not satisfied with the outcome.

A grievance should not put the employee raising the issue at any detriment, however, should any claims be found to have been made maliciously, then the Practice will have the right of redress, and you may find yourself being party to a Disciplinary Procedure.

For more detailed information, or if you have any queries concerning any of the above, or if you have any other issues that you would like to discuss, you can contact BMAS by either email advisoryservice@bvna.co.uk or by phone (01822) 870270, quoting your BVNA membership number. This is a free service that forms part of BVNA Membership.