In this blog, Bonnie discusses how loss and bereavement have impacted her mental health. She also tells us how sharing her experiences of pregnancy loss has led to changes in policies in her workplace.

*Trigger Warning – Pregnancy Loss, Bereavement, Suicide and Mental Health.

“I’ve always been a big advocate of supporting mental health and wellbeing in others, having lost my dad to suicide when I was 15, but more recently, I suffered 3 pregnancy losses in a year. In addition to a loss I had when I was 21, this hit me really hard.

During the same year, my step-dad almost died twice from kidney failure and he is awaiting a transplant with my mum as a donor. My mother-in-law was also diagnosed with terminal cancer, so as you can imagine, it’s been a tough year.

My last loss was in October 2023 and since then, I’ve moved my career from an RVN to a Nursing Manager, whilst also struggling to get on top of the depression and anxiety that I developed during the last year.

When I came back to work in November, I emailed Daniella De Santos, the culture lead for IVC and shared my story with her. I asked if they would consider adding pregnancy loss at any stage to the bereavement policy. It upset me that my lost babies were classed as sickness and not acknowledged as the loss of a life.

In January, Daniella informed me that because of my feedback and my shared story, they had developed a completely separate pregnancy loss policy that encompassed all stages. It was even more than I had hoped for and was honestly the proudest moment of my career.

I was so grateful that from the darkest part of my life, something positive had happened. It’s so important to me that women and their partners are supported through pregnancy loss at any stage because it’s already such a lonely time. Knowing someone cares and understands can make a huge difference to your recovery.”

If you are struggling with anything mentioned in this story and need to seek help, please look at our Mental Health Toolkit, and/or the following signposts;